The Surrey Docks - JD Wetherspoon

Ah yes, The Surrey Docks in London, another JD Wetherspoon's establishment where hope goes to die and bank accounts go to breathe a sigh of relief. I'll admit, I approached this particular 'Spoons with the same enthusiasm I reserve for dental appointments, but sometimes life throws you a curveball wrapped in suspiciously affordable pub grub.

Let's address the elephant in the room - it's a Wetherspoons. In London. Where artisanal gastropubs charge you the equivalent of a small mortgage for a "deconstructed" shepherd's pie. The Surrey Docks stands there, unashamedly offering pints at prices that make you wonder if they've somehow time-traveled from 1995.

I found myself there on a Wednesday afternoon, purely for journalistic purposes, mind you. The outdoor seating area actually caught me off guard - spacious, well-maintained, and offering a front-row seat to the theater of local life. It's almost... pleasant. There, I said it. The kind of space where you can waste away a summer afternoon without feeling like you're wasting your life.

Walking inside, I was prepared for the usual 'Spoons aesthetic - that distinct carpet pattern that looks like a toddler's fever dream meets 1980s bowling alley. But The Surrey Docks in London somehow manages to feel less... oppressive than its siblings. The space is generously proportioned, with enough natural light to actually see what you're eating - a feature I'm not entirely sure works in their favor, but there we are.

Now, about that food. Look, I've eaten at establishments where the chef's name has more syllables than the entire menu, but there's something admirably straightforward about what they're doing here. The chicken wings - and I can't believe I'm writing this - are actually crispy. Not "we-left-them-under-the-heat-lamp-for-three-hours" crispy, but properly, intentionally crispy. The pizzas won't have Naples trembling in fear, but they're decent enough to make you forget you're paying about the same as a London bus fare for them.

The beer selection is surprisingly comprehensive, with real ales that don't taste like they've been filtered through an old sock. Under £3 for a pint of Shipyard in London? I had to check my receipt twice to ensure I hadn't accidentally stumbled through a temporal anomaly.

The staff, who I expected to share my general world-weariness, display an almost offensive level of competence and friendliness. They're quick, efficient, and seem to actually give a damn - a concept so foreign in some London establishments that it should require a passport.

Let's talk amenities because The Surrey Docks isn't just playing at being a proper pub. They've got all the modern payment methods (yes, they take cards, welcome to the 21st century), clean toilets (a miracle in itself), and enough screens to catch whatever sport you're pretending to be interested in while avoiding conversation with your companions.

The crowd is a fascinating anthropological study - suited professionals trying to stretch their lunch budget, students making their loan last another week, and locals who've clearly made this their second living room. Somehow, it works. The atmosphere manages to be both busy and relaxed, like a well-choreographed chaos.

For context, The Surrey Docks sits in a part of London where many venues seem to think charging the equivalent of a small car payment for dinner is perfectly reasonable. Here, you can actually have a night out without having to sell a kidney on the black market first.

Look, I'm as surprised as anyone to be writing this, but The Surrey Docks in London has earned its stripes. Is it revolutionizing the culinary scene? No. Is it a reliable spot for decent food, reasonable drinks, and change from a twenty? Annoyingly, yes. If you're in the area and your wallet is feeling light (or you're just tired of London's usual price-gouging), you might as well give in. I did, and I'm only slightly ashamed to admit I'll be back. Just don't tell my foodie friends - I have a reputation to maintain.