The Shortlands Tavern

Just what London needs - another pub claiming to be a proper local. The Shortlands Tavern in London's Bromley borough sits there, smugly traditional, daring you to find fault with its weathered brick exterior and promises of authentic pub charm. I arrived determined to hate it, armed with years of disappointment from similarly positioned establishments that turned out to be all Instagram aesthetics and microwaved meals.

Let's address the elephant in the room - that roaring fireplace that seems to think it's starring in its own period drama. On a crisp winter evening, I found myself gravitating toward it like a moth to flame, literally and figuratively, as the smoke occasionally decides to reject the chimney's advances and mingle with the patrons instead. It's imperfect. It's occasionally smoky. And damn it if it isn't exactly what you want on a cold night.

The beer garden deserves special mention, if only because it manages to avoid the usual London pub garden pitfall of feeling like you're drinking in someone's abandoned storage area. Instead, you get an actually pleasant outdoor space that doesn't require tetanus shots before entry. The trains rumbling past on nearby tracks add an oddly comforting urban soundtrack, though I'm slightly annoyed at how well it works.

Inside, the pub strikes that infuriating balance between cozy and spacious that so many establishments try and fail to achieve. The upstairs area offers views of the aforementioned trains, which shouldn't be interesting but somehow becomes meditative after your second pint. The wood-heavy décor could easily veer into theme-park-pub territory, but it maintains just enough authentic wear and tear to feel genuine.

Now, about the food. I wanted to dismiss it as standard pub fare, but they've gone and made it difficult by actually caring about what leaves the kitchen. The pizzas, while not quite Neapolitan perfection, emerge from their dedicated van with enough character to warrant attention. Yes, they can be a touch oily, but show me a proper pub pizza that isn't. The fish and chips – that eternal benchmark of pub cuisine – manages to be both generously portioned and actually edible, which is rarer than it should be at London pubs.

The pricing sits in that sweet spot where you can't quite complain but aren't exactly celebrating either. A pint at £6.50 might raise eyebrows in some parts of the country, but for London, it's practically charitable. The food menu won't require a call to your financial advisor, with most main courses hovering around the £15-20 mark. Is it cheap? No. Is it fair for what you're getting in this postcode? Reluctantly, yes.

Service comes with that particularly British blend of efficiency and casual familiarity that makes you feel simultaneously well-cared-for and left alone – precisely what you want in a proper pub. The staff somehow remember regulars' orders without developing that cliquey atmosphere that makes newcomers feel like they're intruding on a private club.

Let's talk about the entertainment. Live music upstairs occasionally threatens to elevate the place above mere pub status, with blues bands that are surprisingly competent. They've managed to nail that delicate volume level where you can still hear your drinking companions while enjoying the music, a concept apparently foreign to many London venues.

The dog-friendly policy means you might find yourself sharing space with four-legged patrons, which either adds to the charm or ruins your evening, depending on your disposition. I found myself warming to it, much to my cynical heart's dismay.

For families wondering - yes, it's child-friendly, though I'd suggest earlier visits if you're bringing the small ones. The atmosphere shifts seamlessly from family-friendly pub to proper grown-up drinking establishment as the day progresses, another irritatingly well-executed balancing act.

Look, I didn't want to like The Shortlands Tavern. I wanted to file it away under "Another London Pub Pretending to Be Special." But here I am, grudgingly admitting that this corner of London has something genuinely worth visiting. Whether you're local or making the trip to Shortlands, you'll find a pub that somehow manages to be exactly what it needs to be, when it needs to be it. Book a table if you're planning on eating – the locals have already figured out what took me too long to admit.