The Shirker's Rest

Just what New Cross needed - another pub with a quirky name. The Shirker's Rest in London sounds like it was conceived during a late-night drinking session, probably by the same folks who think naming their sourdough starter is a personality trait. And yet, here I am, reluctantly penning what might be the most begrudgingly positive review I've written this year.

Located opposite Goldsmiths University, where arts students perfect their thousand-yard stares, The Shirker's Rest in London's southeast quarter has achieved something I thought impossible - it's made me want to voluntarily spend time in New Cross. The fact that it opened in 2022 on the bones of a café called Birdie Num Nums (really?) should have been my first red flag. But like a cynical critic proven embarrassingly wrong, I find myself returning with alarming frequency.

Let's talk about the space, shall we? The main bar area downstairs is clad in beach-washed boards that somehow manage to avoid the usual nautical-themed-pub tackiness. The green walls host an eclectic mix of artwork that looks like it was curated by someone with actual taste rather than grabbed from a closing-down sale at a defunct chain restaurant. There's even a massive brass clock that, wonder of wonders, actually keeps the correct time - a minor miracle in London's pub scene.

Upstairs is where things get interesting. Yellow walls and green chairs shouldn't work together - it sounds like something from a child's crayon box gone wrong - but it does, creating a space that feels both cozy and sophisticated. They've managed to craft that elusive atmosphere where you could either read a book alone or chat with friends without feeling like you're doing either activity wrong.

The beer selection is where my professional skepticism completely crumbled. An impressive array of local and independent UK brews rotates through their taps with the kind of thoughtful curation that makes beer snobs weep into their tasting glasses. The prices won't make your wallet sob uncontrollably - a refreshing change in London's increasingly expensive pub scene. Yes, you're still paying London prices, but at least you're getting something worth drinking.

No food menu might seem like a limitation, but they've turned it into a strength. Instead of serving mediocre pub grub, they've assembled what might be London's most comprehensive selection of premium crisps. It's like they've cornered the market on every artisanal crisp maker from Land's End to John o' Groats. Plus, they're perfectly fine with you ordering in from local spots, which shows a refreshing lack of pretension.

The "A20 Lounge" - their cheeky name for the outdoor benches - perfectly encapsulates what makes this place work. They've taken what could be a liability (being situated on a busy road) and turned it into a feature with a knowing wink. It's this self-awareness that elevates The Shirker's Rest from just another London pub to something special.

The events calendar shows similar intelligence, with live music from local artists who actually have talent, open mic nights that don't make you want to pierce your eardrums, and tap takeovers from breweries that know their stuff. They've created a community hub without trying too hard - the holy grail of pub management.

For those keeping score at home, you'll find it between New Cross and New Cross Gate stations, though after a few of their excellent pints, you might find yourself equidistant from both even if you weren't when you arrived. The staff maintain that perfect London pub balance of being knowledgeable without being condescending, friendly without being overbearing.

Look, I didn't want to like The Shirker's Rest in London. I really didn't. But like the best things in life, it won me over despite my best efforts to maintain professional cynicism. If you must shirk your responsibilities - and let's face it, sometimes you must - you might as well do it here. Just don't blame me when you find yourself becoming a regular. I certainly didn't plan to, yet here we are.