The Royal Oak

Just what London needs - another historic pub claiming to be the beating heart of Westminster. The Royal Oak has been serving pints since 1831, and like that ancient regular propped against the bar, it's still somehow hanging on. Though I hate to admit it, this peculiarly-shaped watering hole might actually be worth your time.

Let's address the elephant in the oddly-angled room: The Royal Oak's distinctive L-shaped layout wasn't some architectural master stroke, but rather the result of Westminster's chaotic street planning. Yet somehow, this awkward geometry works in its favor, creating intimate nooks that make even the most hardened Londoner feel like they've stumbled upon something special.

I arrived fully prepared to mock the inevitable "authentic pub experience" that tourists frantically search for, only to find myself betrayed by the genuine warmth of the place. The walls, adorned with album covers spanning from The Happy Mondays to Adele, shouldn't work - it's the kind of décor that typically screams "trying too hard." But much like that one friend who can inexplicably pull off mixing patterns, The Royal Oak makes it feel natural.

The beer selection is surprisingly competent, though don't expect craft beer bingo here. Two rotating cask ales maintain tradition, while continental lagers and Camden's Stout provide enough variety to keep things interesting. Yes, you'll pay £6.30 for a Mahou, because apparently, we've all collectively agreed that London drink prices should be mildly offensive.

The food menu reads like a greatest hits of pub classics, and while the £17 fish and chips might make your wallet wince, it arrives piping hot and properly executed. It's not reinventing the wheel, but then again, when was the last time you wanted an avant-garde interpretation of bangers and mash?

What truly sets The Royal Oak apart - and I'm rolling my eyes at myself for saying this - is its staff. Particularly Evelina, who manages to make everyone feel like a regular, even the obvious tourists clutching their Google Maps. It's the kind of authentic hospitality that can't be manufactured, no matter how many consultants you throw at it.

The high-level seating and banquettes might not be everyone's cup of tea (speaking of which, yes, they do serve proper coffee), but they've managed to create a space that works equally well for after-work drinks or a casual lunch meeting. The windows on three sides flood the place with natural light, making it significantly less depressing than your average London pub at 4 PM in February.

Dog-friendly and group-accommodating, The Royal Oak handles everything from solo pint-sippers to twelve-person gatherings with surprising grace. The payment system accepts everything short of cryptocurrency, and yes, there's a proper loo - a detail that shouldn't need mentioning but anyone who's pub-crawled through London knows is worth noting.

Located a stone's throw from Pimlico tube station and the architecturally unique Grosvenor Estate, The Royal Oak sits in that sweet spot between tourist trap and local secret. The fact that it was saved from demolition by local residents speaks volumes - though I suspect it had more to do with preserving their preferred drinking spot than any architectural merit.

Look, I didn't want to like The Royal Oak. London has enough pubs that coast on history while serving mediocre pints and microwaved meals. But this place has earned its stripes, and I find myself reluctantly adding it to my mental list of recommendations. If you're in Westminster and need a proper pub - one that balances tradition with just enough modernity to keep things interesting - you could do far worse than The Royal Oak. Just don't blame me if you end up becoming one of those regulars who can't shut up about it.