The Castle

Just what London needs - another pub calling itself The Castle. Because apparently, in a city with roughly 3,500 pubs, what we're desperately lacking is yet another establishment with delusions of medieval grandeur. And yet, here I am, reluctantly admitting that The Castle in Dulwich has managed to do something rather special with what could have been just another corner boozer.

Let's address the elephant in the room - this place is decidedly unfussy, which in London usually means "we couldn't be bothered." But The Castle has somehow turned this simplicity into an art form. No gastropub pretensions, no craft beer snobbery (though they do have a solid selection), just an honest-to-goodness proper pub that doesn't try to be anything it's not.

The first thing that won me over - and I'm loathe to admit this - was the atmosphere. While other London pubs seem caught between cosplaying as Victorian gin palaces or sterile Scandinavian beer halls, The Castle maintains that elusive sweet spot of actual, genuine pub comfort. The kind that makes you want to sink into a corner with a pint and forget about the existential dread of London rental prices for a few hours.

Speaking of drinks, they've managed to curate a beer selection that won't make craft beer enthusiasts weep into their £8 small-batch IPAs, while still keeping things accessible enough for those of us who just want a decent pint without a lecture on hop varieties. The wine list is surprisingly competent too, though if you're coming to The Castle for wine, you might want to reassess your life choices.

Now, about the food situation - or rather, the lack thereof. In a stroke of either genius or laziness (I'm still deciding), they've partnered with Yard Sale Pizza for deliveries. It's like they're saying, "Look, we know what we're good at, and it's not pretending to be a kitchen." There's something refreshingly honest about that, especially in a city where every pub thinks it needs to serve deconstructed shepherd's pie on slate tiles.

The upstairs room deserves special mention, if only because it's managed to host everything from private parties to live music without descending into the usual chaos that defines London pub entertainment spaces. It's actually... functional? I know, I'm as shocked as you are.

Dog-friendly without being a canine circus, sports-showing without becoming a screaming match arena, and outdoor seating that doesn't require you to dodge buses while sipping your pint - it's like they've actually thought about what makes a pub work. The cashless system might annoy your one friend who still lives in 1995, but it keeps the bar service moving at a pace that suggests they actually want you to get your drink this century.

The staff, contrary to my natural expectation of London pub service (which usually ranges from barely tolerant to actively hostile), display an alarming tendency toward genuine friendliness. I've witnessed multiple instances of bartenders remembering regulars' orders and engaging in actual conversation, which in London hospitality terms is practically revolutionary.

For the price point, it's almost offensive how well they're doing everything. In a city where you typically need to remortgage your house for a night out, The Castle keeps things remarkably reasonable. It's the kind of place where you can have three rounds before the existential panic about your bank balance kicks in.

Let's talk location - perched on the corner of Crystal Palace Road, it's become something of a Dulwich landmark, though thankfully without the pretension that usually comes with anything SE22-adjacent. It's managed to maintain its local pub charm while still being welcoming to newcomers, a balance about as rare as affordable housing in Zone 2.

So here's the thing - and I can't believe I'm writing this - The Castle in London has actually earned its place. Whether you're after a proper pub experience, a spot to watch the match, or just somewhere to hide from the world with a well-kept pint, it delivers without the usual London markup of inflated prices and deflated expectations. Go there. Have a drink. Just don't tell them I sent you - I have a reputation to maintain.