The Crown & Treaty

Just what London needs - another historic pub trying to be a gastropub. The Crown & Treaty in London had me rolling my eyes before I even crossed the threshold. These places are always the same: mediocre food masquerading as culinary innovation, served in a building that's probably seen more interesting moments during the Black Death.

But damn it all if this place didn't make me eat my words along with some surprisingly decent fare.

Let's address the elephant in the room - yes, The Crown & Treaty is doing that tiresome traditional-pub-meets-modern-dining thing that every other establishment in London seems to attempt. However, unlike most of its competitors who achieve all the charm of a corporate training seminar, this place actually manages to pull it off without completely sacrificing its soul.

The interior strikes that elusive balance between "ye olde pub" and "actually comfortable place where you'd want to spend more than 20 minutes." They've managed to preserve the historical character while ensuring you won't need a tetanus shot after sitting in their chairs. A minor miracle, really.

Their menu, while not extensive (thank god - I'm tired of novels masquerading as menus), shows restraint and actual thought. The burger - often the litmus test of pub mediocrity - is actually worth ordering. I know, I'm as shocked as you are. The patty isn't trying to reinvent the wheel; it's just good, honest beef cooked properly. Revolutionary concept, apparently.

The roast chicken deserves special mention, if only because it made me temporarily forget my professional obligation to find fault with everything. Crispy skin, juicy meat, and seasoning that suggests someone in the kitchen actually knows what salt is for. It's the kind of dish that makes you wonder if you've been too harsh on pub food all these years. (You haven't - this place is just an anomaly.)

Their drink selection is predictably comprehensive (it's still a pub, after all), but what's unexpected is the staff's actual knowledge about what they're serving. I tried to catch them out with some obscure beer questions, and they responded with genuine insight rather than the usual deer-in-headlights look followed by a quick escape to "check something in the back."

The outdoor seating area is a pleasant surprise, especially for London where "outdoor seating" usually means huddling under an umbrella while buses splash you with rain water. They've created a space that's actually inviting, with proper tables and chairs that don't feel like they were salvaged from a skip.

Service walks that fine line between attentive and hovering, which in my experience is rarer than a reasonable London rent. They seem to have mastered the art of appearing exactly when needed and vanishing when you're deep in conversation or trying to avoid eye contact while shoving that last bite of dessert into your mouth.

Speaking of prices - they're not trying to rob you blind, which in London's current dining scene feels almost revolutionary. The portions are generous enough that you won't need to stop for a kebab on the way home, and the quality justifies the mid-range prices. It's refreshing to leave a place feeling like you've gotten what you paid for rather than being taken for a ride.

Let's talk logistics: they take reservations (bless them), have actual parking (a miracle in London), and yes, you can bring your dog (though perhaps don't bring Fido on your first date). They do lunch, dinner, and everything in between, including a brunch that doesn't require a second mortgage.

Look, I don't enjoy admitting when places exceed my carefully cultivated cynicism, but The Crown & Treaty in London has managed just that. It's the kind of establishment that makes you question your commitment to being perpetually unimpressed. Whether you're looking for a solid meal, a proper pint, or just a place to escape the London madness for a few hours, you could do far worse - and I've been to those places too.

Go ahead, book a table. Just don't tell them I sent you - I have a reputation to maintain.