The Chequers

Just what London needs - another pub claiming to be the neighborhood's crown jewel. The Chequers in London had me rolling my eyes before I even crossed the threshold. The name alone sounds like it was generated by the Most British Pub Name Algorithm™, probably right after "The King's Arms" and "The Red Lion."

But damn it all if this place hasn't wormed its way into my cold, cynical heart.

Let's address the elephant in the room - yes, The Chequers is yet another London pub that's undergone the obligatory "thoughtful renovation" that seems to plague every drinking establishment within the M25 these days. But unlike most attempts that end up looking like a Pinterest board threw up on a Victorian building, they've somehow managed to strike that elusive balance between traditional charm and modern comfort. It's like they actually consulted someone with taste instead of just slapping some Edison bulbs on exposed brick and calling it a day.

The beer selection, I must grudgingly admit, is rather impressive. They've managed to curate a lineup that extends beyond the usual suspects you'll find at every other pub in a five-mile radius. And while I arrived fully prepared to scoff at yet another rotating craft beer menu, I found myself actually enjoying their selections. The staff, surprisingly, know their stuff too - and not in that pretentious "let me tell you about the hop varieties in this IPA for the next 20 minutes" kind of way.

Speaking of staff, there's a redheaded bartender who deserves special mention. In a city where genuine warmth behind the bar is about as rare as an affordable flat, she manages to make you feel welcome without it feeling forced. It's the kind of authentic hospitality that makes you question whether you're still in London at all.

The live music offerings are another unexpected bright spot. Instead of the usual tired cover bands butchering "Wonderwall," The Chequers actually books decent acts. The sound system isn't an afterthought either - someone clearly invested in proper acoustics, making it possible to both enjoy the music and hold a conversation without screaming yourself hoarse.

They've done something rather clever with the space too. The main room maintains that classic pub feel while somehow avoiding the claustrophobic atmosphere that plagues so many London boozers. The outdoor seating area - because heaven forbid a modern pub exists without one - is actually pleasant rather than feeling like you're drinking in a hastily converted parking space.

Dog-friendly without becoming a canine circus, group-friendly without devolving into chaos during football matches (yes, they show the games, and yes, the screens are actually visible from more than one angle), The Chequers has somehow managed to be all things to all people without becoming nothing to anyone.

The prices are what you'd expect for a decent London pub these days - which is to say, they'll make you wince if you're old enough to remember when a pint cost less than a fiver. But considering the quality of what's on offer and the fact that you're not being charged extra for the privilege of sitting down, it's fair enough.

Payment is mercifully modern - they accept everything from contactless to good old-fashioned cash, though watching someone try to pay with a £50 note still provides that special kind of London pub entertainment.

Look, I came to The Chequers ready to write another scathing review about the death of the authentic London pub scene. Instead, I found myself becoming one of those irritating regulars who knows the staff by name and has a "usual" order. It's not perfect - nowhere is - but it's exactly what a modern London pub should be.

If you're in the area and in need of a proper drink (or several), The Chequers deserves your patronage. Just don't all rush there at once and ruin it for the rest of us. And if you see someone in the corner muttering about how pubs aren't what they used to be while secretly enjoying themselves, that'll be me. Don't say hello - I'm busy pretending not to love the place.