The Carpenter

Just what Dublin needed - another pub with delusions of grandeur. The Carpenter swaggered onto the scene with all the subtlety of a thrown gauntlet, daring us cynical locals to find fault. And oh, how I tried. I really did. But like that one friend who's irritatingly good at everything, this place keeps making it difficult to maintain my professional disdain.

Let's start with the obvious - yes, The Carpenter Dublin has that carefully curated "authentic Irish pub" aesthetic that usually makes my eyes roll so hard they risk getting stuck. Multiple levels, warm woods, the whole nine yards. But here's the thing - they've somehow managed to pull it off without feeling like a theme park attraction. It's as if someone actually put thought into the design instead of just throwing shamrocks at the walls and hoping for the best.

I arrived determined to hate the place. The car park was suspiciously ample (first red flag - proper parking in Dublin? Clearly something was amiss), and the staff's genuine warmth felt like a personal affront to my carefully cultivated misanthropy. But then they pulled their first dirty trick - serving a Guinness so perfect it made me temporarily forget all my prepared criticisms. The pour was immaculate, the temperature spot-on, and the taste... well, let's just say I had to check my notes to remember what I was supposed to be complaining about.

The food menu is what you'd expect from a mid-range Dublin pub that's trying to punch above its weight - but annoyingly, they're largely succeeding. The kitchen clearly didn't get the memo that pub food is supposed to be mediocre enough to maintain our low expectations. Instead, they're turning out plates that make you forget you're in a pub at all. Yes, the prices are firmly in the "I could cook this at home" territory, but then you actually taste it and realize that no, you probably couldn't.

Live music is another area where The Carpenter should stumble but doesn't. Instead of the usual tired covers of "Whiskey in the Jar" played by someone's cousin who just learned guitar last week, they actually book decent musicians. The multi-level layout means you can either plant yourself right in the thick of it or find a quieter corner to question your life choices in peace.

The outdoor seating area is another reluctant highlight. They've managed to create that rarest of Dublin commodities - an outdoor space where you don't feel like you're sharing your meal with passing traffic or participating in an impromptu wind tunnel experiment. Though I suspect they've made some sort of deal with the weather gods, as it seems suspiciously pleasant out there more often than Dublin's climate should allow.

For groups, they've got this irritatingly well-thought-out system of spaces that can accommodate anything from intimate gatherings to full-blown celebrations. The staff handles large parties with the kind of efficiency that makes you wonder if they've all been secretly trained by military logistics experts. And yes, they're good with kids too, though I'm philosophically opposed to encouraging people to bring children to pubs, no matter how family-friendly the establishment claims to be.

Payment is seamlessly modern - they take everything from cash to contactless, which shouldn't be noteworthy in 2025 but somehow still is in some Dublin establishments. The bar staff moves with the kind of coordinated precision that makes you wonder if they rehearse after hours, and they actually remember your drinks order, which is both impressive and slightly unnerving.

So here I am, backed into a corner by The Carpenter's stubborn insistence on being actually good at what they do. This corner of Dublin didn't need another pub, but apparently it needed this one. Whether you're after a proper pint, a surprisingly good meal, or just a spot to waste an evening in considerably more style than you deserve, The Carpenter has infuriatingly positioned itself as the go-to option.

Make a booking. Go see for yourself. Just don't tell them I sent you - I have a reputation to maintain, and I'm already in enough trouble for admitting this place is worth your time.