Porter and Sorter

Just what London needs - another pub claiming to be a cut above the rest. The Porter and Sorter in London's ever-evolving landscape of watering holes initially struck me as yet another establishment riding the wave of gentrified pub culture. How wrong I was. Well, partially wrong. Let's not get too carried away here.

First impressions can be deceiving, and the Porter and Sorter plays this card masterfully. From the outside, it's got that carefully curated "we've-always-been-here" look that makes you wonder if it's trying too hard. But step inside, and you'll find yourself reluctantly admitting that maybe, just maybe, they're onto something.

The beer selection is surprisingly competent - and yes, that's a compliment. While every pub in London seems to think having four craft IPAs makes them special, the Porter and Sorter actually understands that variety means more than hopping on the latest brewery bandwagon. The tap selection rotates frequently enough to keep things interesting, but not so often that you feel like you're playing beer roulette with your taste buds.

Let's address the elephant in the room - the karaoke nights. Usually, I'd rather endure a root canal than listen to tipsy renditions of "Sweet Caroline," but somehow this place makes it work. Perhaps it's the way they've managed to create zones where you can either embrace the vocal chaos or seek refuge in relative peace. It's like they actually thought about the layout. Imagine that.

The staff, against all odds, seem to genuinely enjoy their jobs. I know, I was skeptical too. But after multiple visits (purely for research purposes, of course), I've yet to encounter the usual London pub attitude of barely concealed contempt. Special mention goes to their bar service - prompt enough that you won't die of thirst while waiting to order, yet not so efficient that it feels chain-pub robotic.

For those seeking outdoor seating (because apparently that's still a thing post-2020), they've managed to create a space that doesn't feel like you're drinking in a parking lot. The heated areas actually heat, which in London's pub scene is rarer than a reasonable housing price.

The clientele is a refreshingly mixed bag - after-work suits rubbing shoulders with local regulars, neither group looking particularly uncomfortable about it. It's the kind of place where you can watch sports without feeling like you're in a testosterone-fueled carnival, or have a quiet drink without being shushed by pretentious whisper-drinkers.

Speaking of sports - yes, they show the matches, and yes, they've figured out how to position screens so you're not performing Olympic-level neck gymnastics to catch the game. The sound management during sports events deserves particular praise - somehow they've mastered the art of making it audible for those who care while not bleeding everyone's ears.

The bathroom situation - often the true measure of a pub's worth - is admittedly stuck in a time warp that makes you wonder if Margaret Thatcher might pop out of a stall. But they're functional and clean enough, which in London pub terms practically qualifies for a Michelin star.

Price-wise, it sits in that sweet spot where you can have a few rounds without requiring a call to your financial advisor, though it's not quite cheap enough to make it your daily. The food menu, while not revolutionary, delivers what it promises - proper pub fare that won't have you googling "food poisoning symptoms" at 3 AM.

Here's the thing about the Porter and Sorter in London - it's managed to do something rather annoying: become genuinely good without making a fuss about it. In a city where every other establishment screams about its uniqueness, this place just gets on with being a proper pub that actually works.

For reservations (yes, you should probably make one for peak times, unless waiting at bars is your idea of entertainment), book ahead, especially if you're planning on catching a match or braving karaoke night. And while it pains me to admit it, you'll probably want to return. I know I did. Just don't tell them I sent you - I have a reputation to maintain.