No.8 Tottenham

Ah yes, No.8 Tottenham in London - another football pub trying to convince us it's more than just a place where dreams of Premier League glory go to drown in lukewarm lager. I approached with the enthusiasm of a VAR official reviewing a controversial penalty decision, yet found myself grudgingly impressed by what this North London establishment has managed to achieve.

Let's address the elephant in the room - or should I say, the cockerel on the wall. This is unabashedly a Spurs supporters' pub, and if you're wearing an Arsenal jersey, you might want to reconsider your life choices, or at least your choice of watering hole. But even for those of us who don't bleed lily white, there's something oddly charming about the place.

The first thing that caught my attention was the massive beer garden, which feels less like an afterthought and more like an actual destination. There's even a resident woodpecker, apparently - nature's own percussion section providing a soundtrack that's marginally more pleasant than the usual football chants. It's the kind of detail that makes you wonder if you've had one too many, but no, it's actually there.

Speaking of beverages, the selection is surprisingly decent for a football pub. I say "surprisingly" because most match-day venues seem to think that serving anything more sophisticated than mass-market lager is somehow betraying the working-class spirit of the game. No.8 Tottenham bucks this trend with a fair variety of drinks that won't make your taste buds file for divorce. Yes, you'll pay London prices - cue the predictable outrage from visitors expecting 1995 rates - but at least you're getting something worth drinking.

The layout is cleverly designed, with multiple areas that somehow manage to accommodate both the match-day mayhem and more civilized drinking sessions. Multiple screens ensure you won't miss any action, though their positioning suggests the architect understood the importance of sight lines better than some Premier League referees understand the offside rule.

What really sets No.8 Tottenham apart from your standard London football pub is its ability to function as an actual pub when there isn't a game on. The dart board isn't just for show (though your accuracy may vary depending on how long you've been there), and the live music offerings add a welcome dimension that doesn't involve arguing about VAR decisions.

The staff, who must have the patience of saints during match days, manage to maintain their composure and actually seem to enjoy their work - a concept as rare in London pubs as a clean sheet in a North London derby. They're knowledgeable about their drinks and surprisingly willing to help you navigate the menu, even when the place is heaving with excited (or despondent, depending on the score) supporters.

For those concerned about modern conveniences, yes, they accept cards, contactless payments, and probably bitcoin if you ask nicely enough (okay, maybe not bitcoin). The outdoor seating area is dog-friendly, which means you can bring your four-legged friend to watch your team disappoint you in person.

Here's the thing about No.8 Tottenham - it knows exactly what it is and doesn't try to be anything else. It's a football pub that's actually good at being a pub, period. The atmosphere during matches is electric without being threatening, and on regular days, it's just a solid spot for a pint and some conversation about how this is definitely, absolutely, positively going to be Spurs' year (narrator: it wasn't).

Located in the heart of London's football territory, it's become something of an institution, and I hate to admit it, but rightfully so. Whether you're a die-hard Spurs fan, a curious neutral, or just someone who appreciates a proper pub that happens to have a football obsession, No.8 Tottenham deserves your attention. Just don't expect me to join you there during the North London derby - I value my sanity too much for that.