Hollywood Arms

Just what London needs - another gastropub with delusions of grandeur. The Hollywood Arms in Chelsea seems to think slapping "Hollywood" in its name and some trendy lighting fixtures on its ceiling makes it worthy of your hard-earned pounds. I walked in fully prepared to pen another scathing review about the death of authentic British pub culture, but damn it if this place hasn't made me eat my words along with their inexplicably good food.

Let's be clear - I've seen enough "elevated pub fare" to last several lifetimes. But somewhere between the first perfectly pulled pint and the moment I caught myself actually enjoying the ambient playlist (who knew The Smiths could sound appropriate in 2025?), I realized the Hollywood Arms was systematically dismantling my professional cynicism.

The space itself manages that tricky balance between preserving traditional pub elements and contemporary updates without looking like it's trying too hard - a feat rarer than a properly cooked steak in most London establishments. The original Victorian architecture remains intact, but they've brightened the space without strip-mining its soul. It's like someone actually thought about the design instead of just copying and pasting from Pinterest's "Modern Pub Aesthetic" board.

Speaking of steaks - and I can't believe I'm writing this - they actually know how to cook one here. When I ordered mine medium-rare, it arrived... medium-rare. I nearly fell off my deliberately mismatched vintage chair. The kitchen clearly houses someone who understands that "gastropub" doesn't have to be code for "pretentious mediocrity at markup prices."

The Sunday roast deserves its own paragraph, if only because it's responsible for making me break my cardinal rule of never returning to a review venue. The Yorkshire pudding achieves that mythical balance between crisp and fluffy that's usually reserved for your nan's cooking, and the roast potatoes actually taste of something other than cooking oil and broken dreams. They're charging what you'd expect for Chelsea, but at least you're getting what you pay for.

The bar program (yes, we have to call it that now) is surprisingly competent. Their cocktail list manages to avoid the usual painful puns while delivering proper drinks that don't require a dictionary to order. The beer selection rotates frequently enough to keep things interesting, and - miracle of miracles - they actually keep their lines clean. You'd think that would be standard practice, but if you've ever ordered a pint in London, you know better.

Let's talk about the service because it's annoyingly good. The staff somehow manages to be attentive without hovering and knowledgeable without lecturing. They've mastered that elusive art of making you feel like a regular even on your first visit, which is particularly impressive given the Chelsea postcode.

The upstairs Boulevard Bar (their capitalization, not mine) hosts private events, and based on the reviews I've grudgingly read, they actually know how to handle everything from wedding receptions to corporate gatherings without the usual chaos that ensues when pubs try to play event venue.

Dogs are welcome, which means you'll occasionally share space with Chelsea's four-legged aristocracy, but even that somehow adds to the charm rather than detracting from it. The Sunday quiz night has developed something of a cult following, and I'm irritated to report it's actually entertaining rather than the usual exercise in Google-based futility.

Look, I don't enjoy admitting when I'm wrong. But the Hollywood Arms has managed to become exactly what a modern London pub should be - respectful of tradition while acknowledging we're not in 1955 anymore. It's maintained its pub soul while elevating its offering to match its location and clientele. The prices reflect the postcode, but unlike many of its neighbors, it delivers value for money.

If you're in London and find yourself in need of a proper pub that won't make you choose between atmosphere and edible food, the Hollywood Arms is worth your time. Just don't tell them I sent you - I have a reputation to maintain.