Crown & Sceptre

Just what London needs - another pub claiming to be a cut above the rest. The Crown & Sceptre in South London had me rolling my eyes before I even crossed the threshold. These places are usually all the same: mediocre ale, microwaved pub grub, and regulars who've been propping up the bar since before I was born.

But damn it all if this place hasn't wormed its way into my reluctantly softening heart.

Maybe it was the moment I realized the beer was actually properly kept - a revelation that shouldn't be noteworthy but somehow is in this day and age. Or perhaps it was when I noticed there wasn't a single screen blaring Sky Sports at me, allowing actual human conversation to flourish like some endangered species finally given room to breathe.

The Crown & Sceptre has pulled off that rarest of tricks: managing to be both a proper local and somewhere you'd actually want to bring friends who aren't legally obligated to spend time with you. The space has been cleverly renovated without sacrificing its soul - no small feat in London's current climate of identikit gastropub makeovers that seem designed by algorithm.

What used to be a car park has been transformed into one of those outdoor spaces that makes you forget you're in London, at least until a red bus thunders past. It's the kind of garden where summer evenings stretch out like lazy cats, and even the inevitable British drizzle feels manageable thanks to some actually thoughtful covering.

The pizza situation requires addressing. I approached their offering with the kind of skepticism usually reserved for politicians' promises, but found myself grudgingly impressed. They're not trying to be Naples-by-way-of-London; instead, they're doing proper pub pizzas that know exactly what they are - satisfying companions to a pint that won't have you questioning your life choices the next morning.

The prices won't make your wallet weep, though they're not giving it away either. In a city where a pint can cost the same as a small car, the Crown & Sceptre maintains a refreshing grip on reality. The beer selection rotates enough to keep things interesting without falling into craft beer pretension, and the wine list is surprisingly decent for a place that doesn't make a big fuss about it.

Dog owners, brace yourselves for excessive cooing from staff who seem genuinely delighted to see your four-legged friends rather than merely tolerating them. There's even a jar of treats behind the bar, which I'm told isn't just for show (though I didn't personally sample any to verify).

The quiz night draws a crowd that's both frustratingly knowledgeable and surprisingly welcoming to newcomers. Book ahead unless you enjoy standing for three hours straight - though the regular team calling themselves the Korean Meatballs apparently has an unfair advantage of actually possessing brain cells.

For those seeking practical details: yes, they take cards (including that contactless wizardry), there's actual parking both on-street and in what remains of their car park (a miracle in London), and they're sensible enough to accept bookings. The rear room welcomes children without letting them dominate the entire establishment - a diplomatic balance that deserves recognition.

Let's be clear - the Crown & Sceptre isn't reinventing the wheel. But in a city where traditional pubs are either dying or being transformed into soulless chains, it's doing something rather special: existing confidently as exactly what it is. A proper London pub that manages to feel both traditional and current, without trying too hard at either.

Go there. Take friends. Order a pizza, grab a pint, and settle in. Just don't blame me when you find yourself becoming one of those regulars I mentioned earlier. The Crown & Sceptre in London has a way of doing that to people, myself irritatingly included.